The Love Pillar: Self, Family, and Community

If Lift is the pillar Kim Abrego has fully dialed in, Love is the one she says she has to work on constantly. In this episode, she opens up about two experiences that shaped the pillar, and introduces a simple framework for thinking about connection at every level of life.

The first story goes back to Kim's years at a boarding school for ballet, from age 10 to 15. Ballet, she explains, is a uniquely tough mental sport: hours a day in front of a mirror, being told “not good enough, do it again.” At her final re-audition, Kim wasn't accepted back; she had hit puberty, her body had changed, and she was told she no longer had the shape of a professional ballerina. At 15, it was devastating, and it shaped a period of real self-hatred.

The way out, eventually, came through a simple practice: noticing that every time she caught her reflection, the internal narration was automatically negative, and deciding to change the script. Every time she saw herself, she said “hello gorgeous,” whether she believed it in the moment or not. Through repetition, the internal narrative actually started to shift. It's the seed of what Kim now calls Love 1.0: your relationship with yourself.

The second story is about her younger brother, diagnosed with brain cancer at 30 and given five years to live: a diagnosis that returned almost exactly five years later. At the time, Kim was building a business and traveling constantly. Her brother's diagnosis brought a sharp perspective to those decisions, and pushed her to be far more intentional about spending time with the people she loved. That's the root of Love 2.0: your closest relationships, partner, kids, family.

From there, the framework expands outward to Love 3.0: everyone else, extended family, coworkers, even the barista you see daily. It's about the energy you bring to every interaction, and how that comes back to you.

Kim is candid that different people will find different levels of this pillar easier or harder: an introvert may find Love 1.0 more natural and 2.0/3.0 more draining, and vice versa for an extrovert. None of it is wrong. The point of the Love pillar is simply awareness: how are you investing in each layer, and are you comfortable enough in your relationships to ask for help when you need it, not just show up for everyone else?